Survival of Covid-19

Think you have survived Covid-19?

Let’s take a look at what Quarantine has done for us all.

1. The new “normal” hair style has grown, you have at least 4 inches of hair that was once tinted, coloured and looked amazing now it’s a mass of grey, white, and what once may have been brown but now looks only “Mouse”.

2. No one really wants to leave home and start to go back to work via any form of transport as everyone much prefers working from home in our pyjama’s.

3. The children now back to school are horrified that this is now their life again it had been so different being home schooled. Some “fortunate children” are still being home schooled as their parents discovered that they got the results needed by teaching at home.

5. You all carry a bottle of hand sanitiser some hand moisturiser and a bottle of water as your new “norm”

6. You have 16 weddings to attend in the next 3 months

7. You have “house meetings” on a weekly basis and even the animals attend it.

8. You feel lost when everyone has gone out from the house.

9. You find yourself in a queue at the post office and everyone is sticking to a one and a half metre to a two metre gap – social distancing now seems to be such a better way to stand in line, it also means you won’t get Mr R’s cold as he’s coughing over there.

10. Grocery shopping suddenly seems to be a terrifying incident as your unknown claustrophobia rears itself when there are over 10 people in the store and some are definitely not sticking to a one or two metre distance.

11. You discover the neighbours are the ones who bulk bought in toilet rolls as for Halloween they are using them to “decorate” their house.

The new “normal” is a list of what once would have been thought horrific but now feels almost cosy:

The New “Normals in life list”

1. Hair ~ the “New Normal”
2. Tying your hair up with a chopstick or anything grabbed from a kitchen drawer
3. Your family all sport the same or very similar hair style and cut

1. You now own decent scissors to cut hair with
2. The thought of going to a hairdresser now seems very extravagant
3. Checking on YouTube for different styles and homemade colourants has become a monthly chance to feel inspired about changing hair styles.
4. All of your family feel hair is best in 2 lengths very long for tying up or as your partner discovered shaved within a millimetre of the scalp feeling the freedom from the hair dryer
5. Everyone is much less concerned about how their hair looks
6. No one bothers with make up or even ironing their clothes – even the bedding hasn’t been ironed within an inch of it’s life.

Other New Normals:

• We all are still hyper-alert to people coughing nearby
• We’re still getting to grips with how NOT to scratch your nose when it itches
• Everyone now takes themselves off to their bed room or the garden when feeling a tiny bit annoyed.
• The “naughty step” has grown to be the “naughty stairs”
• All the family feel happy to take time out on the stairs, as it gives them a very different viewpoint.
• The street where you live has wash hand basins with soap & biologically fast compostable & degradable paper towels at every third home and you all stop at them and wash your hands before moving on.

The air improved so much whilst in quarantine that the governments around the world (thanks to the billion or so letters, emails, signed petitions) now has new targets to meet in order to ensure these factories no longer are allowed to belch their fumes into the sweet air.

The art of letter writing and daily journals returns as a joyful way to pass time

Nine months after quarantine was lifted a million babies were born – all know termed as the “Covid-19 generation”

We all realise that we have gained a little weight….

Greta Thunberg no longer has a cause as the closing down of so many industrial factories has already wiped out the carbon footprint of Harry & Meghan’s constant use of private jets, the icepack is growing and we are heading for a new Ice Age.

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A post shared by The Forward (@jdforward) on Mar 10, 2020 at 12:01pm PDT